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Tuesday, September 13th, 2005
9:21 pm
you know what? i don't give a shit anymore. i'm sick of fucking trying so fuck you all. I;m gone from here. At least I tried to stay in contact. Not like any of you ever really cared.Go to fucking hell.

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Friday, September 2nd, 2005
6:27 pm - blahness
peter's hot...he just doesn't know it.

(Peter): >.<;;; ....omfg, I look like CRAP right now. WTF?? Nuh-uhh...

*mandy steals keyboard back* Yes, you're hot. we all know it. CALM DOWN!

But yea. I miss my jarron. even tho i saw him today...for a whole 2 mintues. *wierd noise then yells MINE really loudly* Kae no steal. Bad Kae. I know my boyfriend's hot but he's MINE!!!!!!!!!!! lol. Love you Kae.

I hate you. I don't know why but i do. (just kidding. I really do LUFF you)

okbyenowkthx.

current mood: awake

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Wednesday, August 3rd, 2005
10:57 pm
so yea. I got a new tattoo and an emo hair cut today. lol. Both looks amazing. I'll post pics as I get them. :) But yea. i finaaly got to talk to my boyfriend. He called me 2 weeks ago and then Monday. I miss him sooo much. We really need to hang out soon. And watch a movie or something. Especially on the 13th because that is not a day I should be left alone and the more the merrier. Bleh. (This comedian is talking about goths. that's hot. lmao.) Anywayz, I really like my new tat. It's hot. It's between my shoulders. It's a pair of bat wings with a star in the middle. heh. I like it. But it hurt really bad, prolly b/c I hyped myself up sooo much. In a few days I'll be all like "it was nothing". Then my haircut is the pixie cut type. Really short in the back then it comes down in the front in a layered angle and I have the emo sideswept bangs. lmao. It looks really good though. :) Anywyaz, I got a job. At Long John Silver's. It sucks but it's a job, right? lol. But yea. I think I'm done for now. Later.

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Tuesday, June 28th, 2005
8:45 pm - Cornerstone or bust
...yep. that's right. Me and Kae are in the process of getting ready for Cornerstone. We're leaving tomorrow and I really can't wait. It's going to be soo much fun. Five days with my best best friend, four of which will be filled with music. hehe. But yea. We've been going crazy all day making sure that we're not forgeting anything because we'll be camping while we're in Illinois. I think we're leaving at 4 or 5 in the morning. I'm not quite sure as of yet. But this is still gonna be so much fun. I mean, how could in not be? lol.

Anywayz, it's been 2 months for me and Jarron. I haven't seen him since school got out on the 8th and I talked to him today on yahoo messenger. I miss him lotz and lotz. yep yep. *sigh* I feel kinda like this is me and John all over again...even though i know it's not. Jarron is nothing like John...and never will be. i guess it's just because I've been hurt so many times before and I'm kinda expecting to get hurt again. Gah. I hate feeling like this. It suxorz major.

But yea. I finally got my 6 gauges in. I say finaaly because the 1st time I got them stretched, i had an allergic reaction to the ear rings. I don't know why. I use Morbid Metals all the time. I don't see why that time was different. Maybe I overgauged my ears that time. Yeck. i dunno.

*sigh again* i miss all my florida friends. yep yep. Love you guys. And you people in the local bands...send me some updates or music or something. (deathisglory1209@yahoo.com) I would love to know what's up with you guys and possibly get new music from you guys. :)

~MandaPanda~

current mood: excited

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Sunday, May 8th, 2005
1:31 am
Okay. So I was really really happy for the first time in a long while. Now I'm getting very depressed gain and I have no reason why. *sigh* My parents still deny that I have a problem. My dad says I'm faking it. He has always said that. It pisses me off. Like I really want to be like this. It's annoying. I feel like bleeding it out...again.

So yea. Now that I got that out...

I had the weirdest dream last night. It's really bugging me because I can't figure it out. I'm sitting in a Chinese restuarant with Kae, Peter, Jarron, and Caitlyn and it's like we were at the lunch table, only in a restuarant. Then I look back and we're still there, but when I look back again, I heard Evan laughing and he was there and so was everyone else who eats lunch behind us. I was like WTF? and i laid my head down on the table. When I lifted it up, I was leaning on the steering wheel of a big truck, driving in the middle of nowhere. I look over and Jarron is with me. I pull up to this huge house and he's like Thanks for dropping me off and I'm like yea, you're welcome. Then he lkeans in like he's going to kiss me, then he pulls away, waves his hand and says "I'll wait until later." WTF is up with that? It's really annoying me b/c I have no idea what the hell is going on. It's driving me crazy. lol.

But yea. We watched the phantom of the opera tonight. I love it. I want it. If you wnt to get me a graduation present, that will work. lmao.

But yea. I wrote this tongiht. i want to post it. So here it is.

"Take"

Take these tears from my eyes
Take this pain and replace it with smiles
These scars that cover my arms
Are bleeding again, opening a void I cannot fill
Take thse open wounds from me
Take the pain away (I'm going numb)

I cannot feel for this pain
I cannot see for this life
Make this pain just go away
Take it from me before I go numb

Take this blood I've spilled on the ground
Take these angry words I have spoken
These lies that fill my ears
Are deafening, turn away to hide my tears
Take my scars that are bared to the world
Take my tears and set me free

I cannot feel for this pain
I cannot see for this life
Make this pain just go away
Take it from me before I go numb


~Mandy~ *rose*

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Wednesday, May 4th, 2005
4:38 pm - happyhappyhappy.
yes. i am very happy. notice how there has been almost no complaints on here in awhile.

My boyfriend is soooo awesome. lol. He's adorable. lmao. it's weird. i am very happy. yes i am. hehehe. But yea.

I'm not gruduating this year. I am but I'm not walking across the stage.

June 30 to July 3 I will be at Cornerstone in Illinois. I will be with Kae. 4 days of nothing but my best friend and music...lotz and lotz of music. lol. It shall be awesome. Got to www.cornerstonefestival.com for more info. It should be fun if you go. If you do, let me know and we can meet up and hang out. lmao. :) Shall be fun. teehee. Later.



ohohohoh. Throne is gonna be playing at Rhinos here in Bloomington July 8. you know I am sooooo going. lmao.

ok. Bye now. for real.

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Friday, April 22nd, 2005
2:04 pm
So I stayed over at Kae's house last night...kinda impromtu, if you will. But yea. It was fun. We stayed up until midnight putting captions on DSA pictures. Twas great. But yea. Now you all know how pathetic we are. Anyway, Peter and possibly Jarron are coming over later to watch movies and play DDR. I know Peter is coming but I don't know about Jarron. He said he might. I hope he does. And I hope things are still okay with us. I really really really do. (Kae's wearing sandals.lmao) i mean, I hope I didn't ruin a possible good friendship by letting Kae tell him that I like him. That would suck majorly. i already screwed up one friendship on the account that I dated/fell in love with the guy (you all know that I'm talking about John on that point) and I have no wish to add another to my list. one is enough, thanks. But yea. Guys are soo complicated. >.< But anywayz, I've been getting nothing below a B on DDR today. That's good. I'm getting better at playing. Hopefully soon I shall be playing on Standard mode. that will kick some ass. ^_^ Yes it shall. but yea. I'm gonna go now. Later.

current mood: confused

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Thursday, April 21st, 2005
7:46 pm - Gah
I'm feeling all blah right now. i really like him but I don't think it's gonna work out or anything. Know what I mean? He asked me why I liked him and I totally screwed that up. I don't know how to explain it. It's really hard to. I mean, how do you explain something like that to someone? I halfway don't know why I like him. everyone that I've talked to about it has had nothing bad to say about him. It's all good. I'd like to get to know him better. i would love to be friends. i dunno. It's kinda like what I felt with John and i want to be friends but I dunno. I really like him. Really really really. (Not John, btw. We're friends again but yea. NOT going through that thing again. Sorry.) But yea. I feel all bleh because of this. Know what i mean? I don't know if anything will come of this. It scared me when he asked me why I liked him. I'm afraid I screwed this up with my answer. Gir. But yea. I think I'm gonna go. Later.

current mood: blah

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Friday, April 15th, 2005
1:57 pm - So yea.
I'm at schgool right now. I'm finished with my papaer and I have nothing to do. *sigh*

He wasn't here today. Made me sad. But still I was very hyper thrid period. It was weird. But yea. I really like him. I really do. I would seriously like to get to know him better. If I wasn't sooo....shy. But I'm getting better. At least he talks to me and I talk back right? He makes fun of me too. lmao. But that's okay. i have something I can hold over his head. hehehe. *little evil laugh*

But yea. LazerLite tonight and tomorrow. Gonna be awesome. I'm going to take my photography assingment there. I have to take a freeze (which is you standard picture) and a blur with my shutter speed way down. Not to difficult. I'll just do my glowstick idea and take pictures of everyone playing DDR. Simple enough. It's the processing the film that gets me. At least my shott with Kae and Peter turned out good. I got a 91% on my assingment. hehe. Made me happy. (The assignment was to get four prints of picturs that went to a song of our choice. I choose Papa Roach's Scars.) But yea. It should be awesome. If I get a chance, I'll scan my photo's and post them for you. :)

Anyways, i don't know if I posted this in an entry but I'll go ahead and do it again. I have a new journal, although I will still be on this one. I'm on another site now, too. It's www.greatestjournal.com/users/angelfaery27 I know it's not linked but I'm too lazy to look up the html for it. Sorry. But the actual link is on my user info page under bio.

But yea. i shall go now. Later.

~Mandy~ *rose*

current mood: calm

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Saturday, April 9th, 2005
5:56 pm - KK
KK. I'm at Kae's. Duh. I said I would be. It's awesome.(YUM! Chocolate chip cookie) But yea. Kae is awesomeness. Big dose of Mandy this weekend. Yep yep.

*glomps Kae's wall* Pictures of Deadstarassembly on the wall. Have you seen pictures of them? Hawtness. i love them. They are sooo awesome. I will lick them...all of them. They are soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hawt. Seriously. lmao.

But anywayz, we went to LazerLite today, as every Saturday, and played lotz of DDR. I'm like addicted to DDR now. (Thanks to Kae. mmkplzthx) Kae wants to say 'ello to you all, so here she is.

OMGZHI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111shiftoneoneone!!!111!1 I gotz teh MandaPanda and j00 don't! So ha! *mineglomp*
..................................mmkplzthxomgz!!!!!!111png. <3

Yea, she's crazy but awesome. (yea, I did get glomped there)

Anywayz, back to DDR. I've only been playing for 3 weeks and I just started playing light mode today. I got an A on a song and I did my little happy dance. lmao. It was great. Made me really happy. But yea. After LL we went to Hobby Lobby with Peter and we were glomping each other in the store. It was grrrrreat! Had lotz and lotz of fun.

But yea.Ummm...I like the hot goth guy. He's hawt. i want to glomp him. Next week, I'm going to kidnap him and take him to the make out room. J/k That would be great. But um yea. I'm gonna go. Later.

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Wednesday, April 6th, 2005
9:11 pm - Mandy back from the dead...well, kinda.
Okay. So I'm living in Indiana now. At first I hated it but now I'm kinda liking it. I have some of the coolest friends.(Don't worry. They don't compare to you guys in Florida.) There's Kae (who is in my icon). She's really awesome. She was my first friend. She introduced me to Peter, who I swear is Britani's clone. Red hair, japan obsessed, the whole nine. Peter is completely awesome. We "rape" him constantly and, even though he's gay, he loves us girls hanging on him. lmao. But yea. We go to LazerLite every Saturday and play DDR, my new obsession. I love it. I would play all day, 24/7, if I could. As it is, I only get to play Saturday's or if I'm at Kae's house.But that's okay. I love it anyway. And I'm soo excited about this Saturday. This guy I like is going with us. I'm soo embarassed to talk to him. But he's sooo hot. He's goth and you guys know my thing about Goth guys. *shudder* But yea. I miss all you Florida guys. I really do. *sigh* I haven't heard from anyone except Rachael (email) and Dee (one letter). So please...anyone...write me!!!!! (2545 Leonard Springs Rd Bloomington, IN 47403) I would die for a letter from someone. please please please write me...i luff you guys!!!!!!!! But yea. I go to Bloomington High School South (they have BHS North and BHSS). It's pretty cool. Lotz of freaky people, which is very awesome. My group hangs out in the Atrium, which is huge (the atrium). But it reminds me soo much of MCHS. Seriously. There's a group that plays hackey sack all the time. I usually sit in a corner with Kae and Peter and Kelsi (who looks alot like Ashley, John's sister.). It's really weird. But yea. My classes are as follows: English 12-1 (which is basically speech), Theatre Arts 2, Poetry (yes, they have a poetry class here. I'm in it with Kae and we cause a riot. It's soooooo much fun. lmao.), Photography (which I'm going to talk about.), and English 12-2 (yea, I have to take 2 english classes.). They're alright classes. My favorites are Poetry and photography. Me and Kae are in third period poetry and we cause sooo much trouble only we don't get into trouble. Like today we were giggling and talking and just being silly. Mrs. McDermot, our teacher, is awesome. She has her nose peirced and let's us suck hellium out of balloons. LMAO. It's pretty cool. There's all girls in my class. There's a guy on the attendance thingy but he's never showed up. We only have 7 people in my class. It's cool. We basically sit on top of our desks and read poems and then we write our own. It's great. And my photography class is just amazing.I love it. It's by far my favorite class. I just printed some pictures today and they turned out great. Well, all but one. It's really blurry but I think it's because Peter was moving alot when I took the photo. But the other three are just awesome. I love them. One is of Peter and Kae that I took for my "Images to music" assignment. I'm doing shots to Scars from Papa Roach. I got some great shots but my contact sheet is kinda messy so I don't know if it's my negatives that are messed up or if I just did the sheet wrong. Egh. But yea. i have to go. I'll try to update this weekend, on Saturday when I'm at Kae's. But yea. Write me.

Love you guys!!!

~Mandy

current mood: ecstatic

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Wednesday, January 26th, 2005
2:22 pm
WoOt!!! I'm 18 now. hehehe. It's really not that great. Trust me.

But yea. Tomorrow is my last day at County. We're moving to Indiana on Saturday. Yipee. Coldness. Need I say that I do not want to go? Yea...and not because it's cold. I'm having some issues but then i always do so that's not new.

But yea. I hung out with John most of the day Saturday. It was alot of fun. I got my ears pierced again. That's 6 holes in my left ear and 5 in my right. I'm almost caught up. lol. I'm getting my tongue pierced as soon as we get to Indiana. I want to get my lip done on the side but I can't until I know where I'll be working at up there. Gir. But yea. We saw Elektra, which was an awesome movie. I liked it. Then we went to Best Buy and Steak n Shake for milkshakes. yum. But yea. We were all gonna hang out tomorrow but John has to work. So it'll prolly only be me, Dee, Brad, Scott, Rachael, and maybe Ed. Me and Dee are trying to talk Brad into letting us use his pool. lol

But yea. I don't know what else to say, so I shall be going. Later.


P.S. If you want my new address, hit me up.

current mood: amused

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Wednesday, November 24th, 2004
2:18 pm - why do parents pick the worst times to move?
So, the plan to buy the house in Ft Pierce didn't go over too well. It was in the middle of the ghetto and while we were looking at it, a robbery happened at the bank down the street. So my mom said screw that. So now, we are moving to INDIANA!!!! Yes, back home. This is what I've wanted ever since we came down here...until I came to Martin County. Here, I found a place where I actually felt I belonged. I have friends who care about me and don't care that I'm not perfect. The accept my flaws and care even more. I realize now, that I know no one up there anymore. No one. Sure all of my cousins and aunts and uncles and stuff live up there, but I hardly know them anymore. It's like we're strangers. I was talking to Billy about it all, crying my eyes out, and he told me that sometimes change isn't always a bad thing. But I don't know if this is a good change or a bad change. I mean, I kinda want to go back still, but I don't wanna leave all my wonderful friends behind. It's a bad feeling not to know what you really want. And another bad thing about moving up there that I'm almost halfway through my senior year of high school. I don't know if I'm going to lose credits or what. It sucks really really sucks. I don't know what to do about it anymore. I mean, the choice basically came down to me. My dad wanted to waited until June so I could graduate, my mom wants to go as soon as possible. They got to fighting about it so I told them it wasn't worth it, I'd go. So now I'm stuck. I have to go. I have no where to stay here. I've cried alot about it already and I know it's going to get worse. Ehh.

But yea. Enough complaining. I'm turning 18 in two weeks. How awesome is that? My dad is going to pay for me to get my lip pierced. I'm getting it out to the side. Which is awesome. I like it when my dad decides not to be such a tight wad. lol. It's great. And I decided not to get the two stars are my wrist. I'm gonna get them on my ankle. And on my wrist, my cousin is gonna do MANDY in elvish. Pretty nifty. But yea. I guess I shall go now. Later.

:kisskiss:

current mood: contemplative

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Monday, October 25th, 2004
7:42 am - so yea
I'm exempt from the easiest class ever and get to sit on a copmuter for two hours while I wait to take my Law Studies exam. Eh. Bordedness.

But yea. Things aren't really working out with Allen. He's sweet, he's awesome, he's a really good friend...and he has a girlfriend. What's up with all the great guys being taken? Gah. And to think that i now have a crush on my close friends ex boyfriend and she wants to hook me up with him...or try to. I mean, i know I'm not going to get anywhere with Brad. I know it. We're too good of friends. And even if something did happen and we got together, I'm scared it'll turn out like me and John. I'll lose my best friend. Kniw what I mean?

Anyway, Homecoming was Saturday. I had soo much fun. I'll post a picture soon. I think I looked really very pretty. And to think this was my last homecoming. Kinda scary. I graduate in May. I really don't know if I'm ready or will be ready to let go of the past 4 years. Ehhh. But yea. I guess I'll just have to make myself ready.

current mood: awake

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Saturday, October 9th, 2004
9:56 am - Good Charlotte
"Predictable"

Something isn't right
I can feel it again feel it again
This isn't the first time
That you left me waiting
Sad excuses and false hopes high
I saw this coming still I don't know why
I let you in

I knew it all along
You're so predictable
I knew something would go wrong (something's always wrong)
So you don't have to call
Or say anything at all
So predictable (so predictable)

So take your empty words your broken promises
And all the time you stole cause I am done with this
I can give it away give it away
I'm doin everything I should've
And now I'm makin a change
I'm living the day
I'm giving back what you gave me
I don't need anything

I knew it all along
You're so predictable
I knew something would go wrong (something's always wrong)
So you don't have to call
Or say anything at all
So predictable (so predictable)

Everywhere I go
Everyone I meet
Every time I try to fall in love
They all want to know why I'm so broken
Why am I so cold
Why I'm so hard inside.
Why am I scared
What am I afraid of
I don't even know
This story's never had an end
I've been waiting
I've been searching
I've been hoping
I've been dreaming you would come back
But I know the ending of this story
You're never coming back
Never..never..never..never.....[echo].....

I knew it all along
You're so predictable
I knew something would go wrong (something's always wrong)
So you don't have to call
Or say anything at all
So predictable (so predictable)

Everywhere I go for the rest of my life (so predictable)
Everyone that I love
Everyone I care about
They're all gonna wanna know what's wrong with me (so predictable)
And I know what it is
I'm ending this right now..




How true is that? It can be so funny how some things turn out. But I guess thats life, right?

But yea. I am soo proud of myself. I walked all over campus with Allen yesterday and i didn't stutter once when i was talking to him. How awesome is that? He is sooooo cute. I like him alot. And I mean alot. *sigh* Too bad he doesn't want to go to homecoming at all. maybe I can change his mind. There's still a week. But yea.


I look really geeky right now. My glasses are a purplish black and they're way weird...but cool. lmao. But yea. I hafta go before it starts raining again. I got to walk to Bennigans. gir. It's like a mile and a 1/2 away. Gah. But yea. I got NIN to listen to on the way so it's all good. Later.

Oh..btw. Happy Birthday DANI MARIE!!! I *heart* you!! tehe

current mood: ditzy

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Thursday, October 7th, 2004
8:23 am - omg
this has changed soo much. lmao. thats what i get for not being on. I guess.

Anywayz, not much here. I am moving...gah. but oh well. my house has some major hurricane damage. Big hole in the roof.

But yea. I got my nose pierced and soon to have 2 new tats. :) Will post pics later. bye.


P.S. STop CURSING or you shall be hurting. I have to read all this at school now. Don't make me yell. I'm actually happy. Thank you.

current mood: stuff it

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Sunday, August 15th, 2004
8:36 pm - lyrics
Avril Lavinge
"My Happy Ending"

So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something You said?
Don't leave me hanging
In a city so dead
Held up so high
On such a breakable thread

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

[Chorus:]
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

[Chorus]

It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done

[Chorus x2]

[x2]
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...
So much for my happy ending

Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...



I don't normally listen to her but this is a really good song.

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8:15 pm - WOW
okay...when did this little crush sneak upon me? Wow. It just like smacked me in my face today. I ran into him and it clicked in my head. Wow. I have no idea where it came from. This is freaky.

But yea. I was supposed to go to a Throne show Friday, but the hurricane came through. Does anyone know if it was cancelled and rescheduled?

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Tuesday, August 10th, 2004
6:55 pm - Senior pictures
Not the best quality but here they are.















This is the one I choose for the yearbook. I think I look best in this one.




Although this one gave it a run for it's money. lol.

But yea. Let me know which ones you like...or if I made the right choice on yearbook. Later.

current mood: contemplative

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Sunday, August 8th, 2004
2:52 pm - lalala
gir. School starts tomorrow. lol. At least I'll be around friends again. That will be a nice change for me. This summer has sucked. Majorly. But yea. We went to Bubois Beach today in Jupiter. Twas fun. I got a whole bunch of sea shells. They are cool. I got a major sunburn though. that's not cool. lol. But yea. Austin, my nephew, was afraid of the floaty thingy we got him. It's a yellow elephant, and it's like laying on its back, with it's feet in the air. Well..it's tail hangs through between it's legs and it looks like a penis. Seriously. And Austin is scared to tears of the float. lol. I think it's b/c of the penis like thing. lmao.

But yea. I saw John on friday. I didn't talk to him b/c I was in a building at the time. I wasn't expecting it to hurt like it did. I just looked back for reasons I don't want to explain, and there he was, on a bike. But it was most def him. I wanted to go outside and yell at him so i could talk to him, but when I did go outside, I kinda froze up. i wanted to cry soo bad. but I tried to call him last night and at first the operator tried to tell me the number was longdistance. i was like wtf? My phone doesn't have long distance services, so we can't call long distance w/out a phone card. But I was playing around on the computer and I tried again. You know. B/c I might have dialed the number wrong or sumpthin. I called twice but it kept saying the number was temporarily out of service. So I guess I have to try again tonight. Gah. But I want to explain some things that I really feel I need to, about the way I acted last year. I acted first and thought much later. And I regret that. i always do and say things without thinking and without meaning them. I have a really bad temper. Really bad.But yea. I shall go now. Later.

<3 Mandy

current mood: drained

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